Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Randomize
