hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize