I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
I thought accidentally shaving off my fingertip while trying to shave my butthole was going to be the most unexpected part of my day, but no
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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