I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Finally liberated my Star Trek DVD from my booty call's house. Captain Kirk would be so proud.
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
