So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
