tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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