PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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