I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
He sends me pictures of his dogs and I send him my tits, it's a win win situation
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
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