do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
i may or may not have bought a plane ticket for a russian cam girl to fly here. also, can you spot me $300 on rent?
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Randomize
