I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
