I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
Randomize