I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Sober January is a disaster.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
