it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
