He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I found him in bed on a pullout couch with another dude. He had two empty puke buckets and his empty bottle of jagermeister right by his head.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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