That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Randomize