He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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