ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
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