Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
