When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
Randomize
