I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i just walked into thanksgiving and three people in a row asked me who i was. really?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
fuck it. im taking monday off to do some Jagering.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
