Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Do you know this guy sitting in front of us? Asking for my vagina.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
