Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
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