Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
