She is in my trunk
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
my god I love twenty year old dicks
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