Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize
