Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
What drugs are we doing when you visit?
The correct answer is all the drugs because I just found out they have glow in the dark bubbles.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
