she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
SO HELP ME GOD THERE IS A SPIDER IN THIS PIZZA. IT IS VERY SMALL IT IS INSIDE THE CRUST AND IT IS ALIVE. I'M SO HUNGRY DO I KEEP EATING
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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