I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Will you blow on my dice?
GO HOME AND LIKE EVERYTHING ON COLT'S FACEBOOK UNTIL 2007.
Wtf it's a Friday night?
PRIORITIZE.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
did you just send me my own nude
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
