If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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