Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
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