soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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