When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
