You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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