I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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