I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
