you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Randomize
