We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize