well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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