My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
