Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
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