Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
We talked him into tasing himself.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
My brother slept till 4, bought a sword, got drunk and sharpened said sword. I went to corporate compliance training. Life is not fair.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
