did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
