I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Randomize
