I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
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