Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
I'm experimenting with sincerity
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
Randomize