8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
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