It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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