She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
Yeah we were on bar number 7 on our bike trail and you decided to steal my bike and we found you 20 minutes later eating Cheetos in the shallow end of your parents pool
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
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