For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
Randomize
