you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize
