I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
