i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I had to cum in my sink.
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