Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Randomize
