He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
