On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Randomize
