dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
Randomize
