fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
