She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
worst night to have a conscience
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Randomize
