i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
