therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
