theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
my shit smells like andre
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
