i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
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