I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Next time we throw a party together I would appreciate it if you didn't try to get my friends to hook up with friends of yours you know have herpes
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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