She announced her abortion via fbk
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
