u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
Randomize
