we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Randomize