Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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