i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
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