If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
