THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
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