The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
