I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize