hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
