can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
Randomize