You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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