I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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