Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
Randomize
